♣ JESUS, MY FIRST LOVE ♣

• 7.7.14

♣ JESUS, MY FIRST LOVE ♣

"We love Him because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)

Some of you may know that I went to a winter retreat a few days back in Rutherford Park Country Retreat. It was such an abundantly blessed 3-day period I got to spend with a hundred other brothers and sisters who are so passionate for Christ. We had multiple sessions throughout the day, multiple encounters with the Holy Spirit and strong team-building games that just united us stronger and better. I love how all of us really did not waste these three days but focused our entire attention to pursue Him deeper and closer, refueling and refreshing our hearts with a new surge of the Holy Spirit. Three days flew past way too quickly but I believe they left behind irreplaceable moments in my heart that prepared me for the rocky road ahead.

Read more »

SATURDAY UPDATE ♥

• 25.5.14

SATURDAY UPDATE ♥

Weekend greetings everyone ♥

Today has been a true eye opener for me, experimentally and conceptually. What started as a relatively ordinary day became such a profound day of lessons, encouragements and new revelations. I am just going to be brief because I need to wake early tomorrow for PW rehearsal, but yes I want to share to you on how important it is to never forget the true significance of Christ's love for us. His omnipresence and ever-present help. 

It is no cliche. God has your life in the palm of His hands and nothing you can do or think of can ever separate you from His omnipresent embrace. There may be many things that are opposing you right now, opposing your dreams, conflicting with your desires and hopes. Events or negative feelings that you disapprove of, that you wish would never exist. You're not alone. Lots, if not everyone, experience these moments every single time every single day. Today, I received one that truly weakened my heart but thanks to His providence, there were people and the Word that really affirmed to me on how gracious His love is in my life. 

In my case, it's my long debate with feelings of inacceptance and neglect. There has been a side of me that's becoming almost cemented, concreted and hardened like an unpenetrable wall when it comes down to the feeling of openness and trust in relationships. I have experienced many moments where trust has been compromised in the past, which led me to close myself off from other people. My experiences gave me not just a wounded heart but a heart that repairs itself almost entirely on disgust and a lack of warmth when it comes to harnessing new meaningful relationships. Consequently, I may seem introverted or rather a bit dominating and a "solo" in a group situation. It's just me. I couldn't help it. I learnt today that God does not change your wounded heart and wronged perspective in a flick. He gives you training baby steps. He lets you into difficult situations so you gain a feel of what it's truly like for people who suffer and lived out their entire lives in these unfavorable conditions. I've always felt very heart-worn whenever I saw people being bullied or gossiped at in high school. If I never experienced how embarrassing and heartbreaking it is to be gossiped at, laughed or bullied in my earlier school years, I would not have mustered so much a courage to step-up and defend my friend who was being laughed at by another fellow class-mate. It did not matter if the bully intimidated me via physical appearance, I just could not tolerate what he was doing and decided to do something positive out of it. 

The next thing I learnt was how to effectively and clearly communicate my intentions. Sometimes our pure-hearted intentions are not followed by well-deserving actions or appropriate expression which may lead to misunderstanding...and you know what that means. All sorts of negative, hesitant feelings due to a pure intention but misleading overt expression (verbally and non-verbally). Sometimes you face the decision to either change how you act or how you communicate by prioritizing the needs of the person you're addressing to more than your own. I've learnt to put my anxieties and crowded timetables aside in catching up with people who I'm not really close with (but keen on getting closer). Sometimes you have to sacrifice some time and even belongings to ensure that the other person feels at home, welcomed and accepted. I certainly don't want any girl or boy out there to be experiencing some of the moments I've experienced through and ended-up creating this unpenetrable wall around them that block against all sorts of social intervention. I don't want second-Catherines, mimicking a closed-off and distant personality whenever I reached out for new people. I want others to experience the warmth of God's love that is continuously at work in my life...and how is that ever possible if I can't sacrifice my own and prioritize their comforts, like a mother bird tending to her young?

In-fact, when God elevates you to a higher position of leadership or influence, He is increasing your capacity for sacrifice. What we are enduring now are the preparations for the way greater things our Father has in mind. Don't back up now. You're too close to Him to do that!

Love, 

Catherine xx

Read more »

FRIDAY UPDATE ♥

• 3.5.14

FRIDAY UPDATE ♥

Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev.

Dear readers,

I had such a blessed Friday listening and learning on a new aspect of His Word. An Indonesian guest pastor will be sharing some joyous news of God throughout this week and I will make sure no grace or blessing is left out from the blog ♥ Melbourne's having a really cool change at the moment, so my lovely Melbournians, please don't forget to bring a spare umbrella next time you leave the house. Oh and adequate layers or a warm jacket is a must!

This week has been a very busy week so far. I had two group presentations, one was really massive and the other one was a breather and two major essays due all within this week. By the grace of God, everything has been done, submitted, close to being marked and I am here writing to you all whilst waiting for some positive marks to come out from teachers' notebooks. It has been a very hectic, but very blessed week indeed. 

I believe people can identify their strengths and weaknesses easily. Knowing these doesn't mean we acknowledge them a hundred percent all the time. Acknowledging your weaknesses and stubbornness can be very difficult, and to let God and other people know of our weaker, vulnerable sides can be a real challenge especially if we are taught to be strong and control of ourselves. Acknowledging the fact that I am an over-perfectionist at times was difficult. It was definitely a nasty self-bite moment to myself since I never regarded this side of me to be particularly negative. The group presentations allowed me to reflect that everyone has weaknesses, vulnerable soft spots that make them prone to disappointment or frustration. Sometimes I get so hassled up in the minute things of a slide or movie project and would spend so much time trying to fix that one insignificant error without seeing more pressing matters from my group. As the group leader, I was unaware of the problems my group members were facing sometimes because my mind was fully occupied somewhere else. 

God taught me to be more aware of my weaknesses and submit these to Him so they may be used for His glory. Meanwhile, He also taught me to learn to see the bigger picture. Everyone of us can adopt a more holistic mindset. But do we want to? Adopting a more holistic mindset always requires us to look ahead into the future, prioritizing the needs and benefits of the entire group over ourselves. Are we ready to take on this step of leadership and sacrifice our own comforts for the good of the wider community? I believe Jesus has set a fine example on Earth about living as a walking, talking leader in Christ. It is to walk with humility, without pride and with sensitive discernment for people's vulnerabilities, requests and worries. It would mean less of me and more of others. 

The King will reply "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for Me." (Matthew 25:40)

To prioritize others means to prioritize Jesus over our own lives and the more we do that, the closer and more tuned in we are to His presence. So yeah, thank you so much for teaching me these life lessons Father. I believe new wisdom can arise from past mistakes. Thank you for redefining a brighter future for me, for letting me know that my mistakes and my past, my weaknesses and my hurt and disappointments have no grip whatsoever in my future. Only You have the control, oh Lord. 

Today I learnt the secret in tapping into the supernatural realm of God - of signs and wonders. I'd just like to leave you readers with a quick note from a profound phrase the guest pastor said. It worked like a magic formula for my brain so I hope it will have the same effect to you too.

For those who want to exercise Godly dominion and authority on this Earth: God is looking for His people who are redeemed, anointed and are willing to learn the ways of the Lord in pure humility and in intimacy with Him.

More will be shared later. Gotta go now. Have to catch on my missed beauty sleep haha~ (oh and I'm feeling quite hungry too...at 1.14 AM in the morning/night...) Can't wait to get back on the blog and write to you all very, very soon blessed readers! For now, good night from Melbourne ♥

Lots of love,

Catherine xx

Read more »